It’s OK Not to Be OK: A Reflection

Sarah Allen’s It’s OK Not to Be OK is a gentle, heartfelt reminder that all emotions , even the difficult ones deserve space. The book beautifully tells children that feeling sad or upset doesn’t make them weak, it simply makes them human.

Too often, we unknowingly silence the emotions of our children. We tell them to stop crying, to “be strong,” without realizing that strength can also mean being honest about how we feel. Especially in our Naga style of parenting, we normalize certain phrases that carry deep emotional impact.

When our sons cry, we tell them, “uno eloe ane undo kya la?” (Are you a girl? Why cry like one?)

And when our daughters are bold or outspoken, we ask, “eboe esua hetata khunga la nung?” (Why are you being so strong-headed like a boy?)

So then, we don’t just correct their behavior, we shape their understanding of emotion and identity. Our words slowly teach boys to suppress their feelings and girls to silence their strength.

No wonder we’re raising another stereotyped generation, men who struggle to express and empathize, and women who are too afraid to live out loud.

Maybe it’s time we unlearn some of what we were taught, and start allowing our children to feel ... freely, truly, fully, and without 

shame.

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