Painting my world red

He looks into my eyes so deeply, it make my soul smile truly every time I hold him in my arms. 

Ah! To bear my heart out on my sleeves I began to just write and cannot stop. I remember it was four months ago since I last wrote. To pen down my thought was by far kicked aside and got messed up with the daily new schedule of mine and that was to wake up, feed my baby, bath him, dress him up , feed him again, put him to sleep, carry him to work. Oh girl! You are a mom now…the newest actually who is trying to slip in every mommy’s suit that comes her way. I tell you honestly, it is lovely to have a baby you could devote so much of your time that you do not even realise when the sunrises and when it set without even notifying you a thing. You just woke up, fed the baby, changed his diaper and made him sleep and its already time to sleep at night. And at the end of the tasks you realise all you did the entire was that over and over again. They say that is the beauty of being a mother. I do agree it is beautiful to have someone who you could love and sacrifice so much without a condition.

But the untold sacrifices you should be ready to lay on the altar remains untold. It can never be listed nor narrated. To me having my baby changed a whole lot of thing for good and for bad as well. I had to join my work when he was just a month old. Taking the infant to office when the sun was mercilessly scorching its heat upon the city as though the city was curse upon and when my office was not air conditioned were one of the toughest challenge. For few weeks my office turned into a nursery with my baby stuffs packed, the cradle below the fan, the prams at one corner and we almost turned one portion of the room into a toddler’s playroom. You must have imagine the picture of an infant taken to office every day.  Baby would stretch and yawn to glory by the time we reach home and I lay him down on the bed as he was carried the entire day. My heart would melt to wake him up in the morning as I had to take him to work every day. But thank God! Almost four months it just fared so well and wonderfully with my baby not having too much to complain about my busy schedules. I could slay with my bear hands of any problems that comes my way to skin into my new role as a first time mom, I would watch my favourite cuisine turning cold as I feed my baby and wait for my sister to initiate caring him, for days I would never be able to get a proper sleep due to my post cesarean pains and I would struggle the entire night just for the love of a minute contented sleep. There are days when I still try to stop for a second and question myself “Is there a single minute you have just for yourself? Alone time? “Alas, even that bliss I could not avail at some point of time. So my pleasurable self-worth times comes during my shower when I would sing and stare for long, wait! For long???No approximately for ten minutes.  Because the new daddy in the house could do anything to be a super dad but when it comes to pacifying a crying baby, only the super mom works. I would spend hours feeding the baby to put him to sleep and there comes the dad who would very confidently shoulder the time to look after the sleeping baby. We all know a sleeping baby is as uncertain as buried mines that may explode anytime soon. He would set an eye on the baby as a lion king being over protective about its cubs. But before I could finish my shower the tiger would fail to stop the roaring little cub. So comes the end of my self-realisation time which are so precious that no jewel on earth can afford. They invade your personal space but well, it was indeed an invited guest of you. My guest has already arrived to drink his milk and I hope to continue my blog in the next episode.