Juggling thoughts

Sarah Allen’s It’s OK Not to Be OK is a gentle, heartfelt reminder that all emotions , even the difficult ones deserve space. The book beautifully tells children that feeling sad or upset doesn’t make them weak, it simply makes them human. Too often, we unknowingly silence the emotions of our children. We tell them to stop crying, to “be strong,” without realizing that strength can also mean being honest about how we feel. Especially in our Naga style of parenting, we normalize certain phrases that carry deep emotional impact. When our sons cry, we tell them, “uno eloe ane undo kya la?” (Are you a girl? Why cry like one?) And when our daughters are bold or outspoken, we ask, “eboe esua hetata khunga la nung?” (Why are you being so strong-headed like a boy?) So then, we don’t just correct their behavior, we shape their understanding of emotion and identity. Our words slowly teach boys to suppress their feelings and girls to silence their strength. No wonder we’re raising another stereo...

 Let’s pretend it’s the 90’s and we are reading Arundhati’s article on the morning newspaper. A long column, the kind that demanded your attention over chai, not a hurried look between two beeps of your phone. We are living in an ultra-fast world. A world that boasts itself on speed of delivery, of data, of consumption. Every day something new evolves, something transforms. Yet, in this acceleration, our lives are being  reduced to those ten-second scrolls of distraction. We move too quickly between work, notifications, schedules. Always clearing schedules, never lingering.  No time for the real people around us. No time to pause, No time to read and truly absorb anything that exceeds three sentences because attention itself has become a luxury.  There was a time, not long ago, when friendship meant the freedom to knock on someone’s door without any notice, when affection was not measured in emojis but in cups of tea shared on lazy afternoons. Strangely, today we mus...

As I traverse the length and breadth of India, I'm constantly reminded of the deep-seated regional biases that permeate our country. The recent media frenzy surrounding the Meghalaya murder case has once again exposed the tendency to judge fellow Indians based on their geographical origins.  I feel this media stance has amplified prejudices that has long being ingrained,and fueled divisions which isn't even necessary. The Blame Game: A Two-Way Street When incidents like this occur even in our states, we often resort to blaming entire communities or regions. Unfortunately, people from the North-East , including me, are not immune to this behavior either, frequently stereotyping every Bihari, every Punjaban, every Bengali, every Miyas and to an extent that every one from UP, MP, Maharashtra,Rajasthan are all non-local Biharis 😄. We sensationalize and generalize, attributing negative traits to entire groups. But it's not every North-Easterners who do that. So are no mainlande...

 That morning, the city woke in steady rain I can't really stop to care about, when I saw that boy. The one with a chicken-plucked look across the rail track: his hairs were tufted circle on top. He was that caught my eyes in the madding crowd. He seemed even to know his place as unworthy striver, of the one no one would look away from for long. He lifted his sack to collect rags: a ticket to buy his bread.  The train was on the run but that would not stop him from collecting every bit of rag. People passed by him, pushing, dashing and the other boys smirked before the rain that was dousing and sweeping all of the rags stupidly into the gutter. I was half in love with his doing. Nine, or maybe ten he would be. He then twitched in sublime irritation, cursing, maybe ,the rain. Harder it poured, up again, hard to shelter his soaking head with the sack but he pretty much managed problems, and now came the move that got me staring on still. His twitch becalmed at last and he stoo...

 I once taught English to Korean students in Guwahati, and they asked, 'What kind of English do Indians speak? It doesn't sound American or British.'  I jokingly replied, 'We speak "Hin-lish" in India, a mix of Hindi and English with our regional languages.' As a Naga, I added that I speak "Nag-lish," influenced by my Naga-Lotha dialect. I asked them what they thought was the universal standard of English. Is it American or British? It is neither. Communication is about expressing ourselves clearly, not about perfect accents. Many students struggle with confidence due to fears of not sounding 'right.' There is no 'right' way to speak English – clarity and basic grammar are what matter. Using complex vocabulary like Shashi Tharoor's might impress some, but if your audience doesn't understand, communication fails. Effective communication is about being understood, not really about how good the accent is or to showcase your v...

He was trying hard to balance the puri lunch plate on his left hand and the hot glass of tea on the right. Half-naked with bare foot, he had to walk the sun  scorched road. Even I was finding it difficult to cross,as the cars never stopped in the traffic chaotic city road. And that job of the little boy seems to be the toughest of all the jobs in the world that moment . He was so careful with each of his step as he had the plate and the tea cup. What if he drops?   This scene caught my attention in and between the crowds. I am not very sure of his age, but the first look on his face made me assume he must be seven or so. I went closer to him, and noted through his over cautious steps that maybe this is his new job as a chai wala. The fear feeling of dropping the lunch on his hands can be read right on his forehead through the shrink lines and eye wrinkles. He shrugged every time he made an attempt to cross the road . He failed several times , beca...